I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
