fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
