A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
