Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
