Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
