shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
