Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
