i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
