Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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