Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
