So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i love accidental penises.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
