You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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