I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
