fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Randomize
