I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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