But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
