UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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