I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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