Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
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