I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Randomize
