You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
