so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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