I haven't been this sober since birth.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
