I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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