I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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