i was born a porn star she said
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
