I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
