i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
