its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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