who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I enjoy the company of your penis
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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