Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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