Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
