I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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