That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
