I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Randomize
