when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
