i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
