I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
