i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
you didnt know i had herpes?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
