I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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