My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
