I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
