how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
