just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
