I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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