I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
wanna go halves on a baby?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
