Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
