ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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