i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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