I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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