Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
