Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
