No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
