Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I AM VODKA MAN
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
